Monday, June 13, 2011

Be a rubber band

What a week!
Well Dad sent me a friendly reminder that my emails are too scatterbrained. Sorry, I´ll try really hard to focus my thoughts more. Honestly I´m just trying so hard to remember what happened that I type whatever and whenever I can. But I promise I´ll try harder.
Well this week. We had specialized training in the Sevilla Zone. That was great. I always learn so much from President. Good news no intercambios this week, those just stress me out so much. And you know how crazy I get when I´m stressed.
I´m starting to dream in Spanish now-that is I talk in Spanish in my dream but ironically enough there are sometimes when I can´t understand the OTHER people in my dreams. My subconscious is so cruel that way. Oh and apparently I speak in Spanish in my sleep (so says my companion).
So being companions with Zone leaders has its perks and its poops. We learn a lot of stuff early, but then, we know it, I´ll have to just explain. Right now there's 4 Elders in our area, me my companion (ZL) and another Elder and his companion (other ZL). The president wants to consolidate 4 into 2 (which it should be) so I basically KNOW that I´m leaving Sevilla in 2 weeks, which is the hard part. Its not that I´m getting lazy or anything, I´m just so sad to know that I´m leaving these families I love so much.
We have been teaching this recent convert form Peru and TRYING to teach the rest of his family but they've always been busy. He brings his granddaughter to church but we can never meet with the rest of the family. And THIS WEEK we had a noche de hogar oops (family home evening) with them. And they CAME TO CHURCH!!! It was great. There are 2 daughters and their boyfriends (they're both Spanish) and the granddaughter. It was great. This month all of Europe had a special fast to bring someone else to church. What a GREAT blessing this family has received from it. One of the boyfriends just loves us. He wanted to take us hiking on some festivo day he has off of work, so we might be changing our Pday. But who knows.
AND
A girl we´ve been working with for longer than I´ve been here, is just doing GREAT. Last week one of the assistants was on intercambios with my companion teaching her. He invited her to be baptized, she said yes and they set a date. BUT he didn´t know that she´s living with her boyfriend. So now she WANTS so bad to get baptized but can´t. Its so sad. She´s too poor to move out now and she´s planning on moving back to Peru soon anyways so she doesn´t want to get married and AHHHHHHHH. Its so sad. She wants SO BAD to get baptized and we have to tell her she can´t. So we´re waiting on a miracle.
But the work goes on. Oh and we´re moving TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I´m so excited. And it seems like I´m not focusing this letter any better.
Being here is the best decision I´ve made. The hardest thing for me is the battles inside me. Beating myself up for things I could do better or not meeting our goals or whatever. And when those things happen its hard to keep your heart in the work. For that the specialized training was great. It just seems to come when you need it the most.
I think one of the best lessons I´ve learned is to be a rubber band, yep. A rubber band is nice and comfy just sitting on the table thinking its a cool rubber band. You can put a rubber band around a deck of cards but if its not stretching, the cards just slip and slide and fall around. So you stretch the rubber band and it hurts and you're scared of snapping, but the cards stay in place.
You don´t grow in life without stretching. The hard stuff in life seems like it might snap us, but its the stretching that makes us better.
There's my words of advice or wisdom or whatever. Remember the stretching makes us stronger. I love you all. Please pray for me, even though I know you already do. I love being a missionary but not because its just a fun vacation. I love being a missionary because God is shaping me he´s making me into a better person and I somehow help other people at the same time. I know the gospel is true.
I love getting your letters and emails. I love you all. Remember that the stretching makes us stronger and in reality keeps the cards from falling.
love
Elder Kirkham (kit-kat)
ps. Jennifer and Stuart I´m SOOOOOO happy for you guys! I wish you could bring me some homemade bread with peanut butter and jam

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